Side-effects
by keep.you.safe
Summary: R and Julie deal with the side-effects of the cure and their feelings for one another.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey this story is a work in progress about what happens after the movie. If you've read the book you'll recognize one of the scenes. It was too perfect not to include. I don't own anything. **

As we drove through the deserted streets of the city I couldn't help but turn to stare at R and the vivid red blood flowing from various wounds on his body. Although I should've been horrified, I couldn't help the elation I felt at seeing the physical evidence of R's newfound humanity. The uneasiness began as we got closer to the stadiums' medical center and I realized this evidence of humanity was also a threat to R's new life. I wanted to protect him just as he protected me during that failed scavenge trip and the subsequent stay at the airport hive. I'm still not sure what made him want to keep me safe but it was my turn to keep him safe now.

"How are you feeling R?" I asked him.

"Dizzy. Cold" he replied still having trouble with his speech.

"Just keep your eyes open, stay with me! We're coming up on the med-center now and we'll get you patched up" I say as my heart starts to seize up. It's only been just over a week since I met R but I've come to rely on him so much I can't begin to imagine watching him die just as we found the cure. Not that we really know what the cure is yet. All I know is that after our kiss in the fountain his eyes dilated and turned a startling shade of blue. The next thing I knew my dad shot him and he started bleeding real blood.

"We're here son, let's go" my dad said as he got out of the SUV and started barking orders at soldiers and medics.

"Julie…" R rasped looking at me in panic as the soldiers started opening the car door.

"It's ok R. They're here to help you inside. The doctors are going to stop your bleeding and we'll get you a transfusion or something. I promise I'll stay with you. Don't worry." At my last words I could see R relax slightly. I don't know where his trust in me came from but as I followed the stretcher R was laid upon into the hospital, I could tell that he was still nervous about all the living soldiers surrounding him. I knew that my dad believed me about R's change but not everyone got to see the transformation first hand. It would take some time to convince the rest of the refugees but I knew the soldiers wouldn't disobey orders from my dad. And the blood still pumping from his recent bullet wound gave them pause enough to realize he was no longer part of the undead army we were trained to battle.

The next few hours went by in a blur as soldiers and medics worked over R's body. My dad made sure I was able to stay in the room but I had to stay out of the way. One of the doctors placed a mask over his face and started the anesthetic. Our eyes met as his began to droop and the fear I saw was heart-wrenching.

* * *

My limbs felt heavy when I opened my eyes a few hours later. It reminded me so much of waking for the first time as one of the undead that I nearly panicked until I realized I still had all my memories of the past week and a half. I wanted to sigh in relief until I realized that one of the side-effects of my recent change of lifestyle was the ability to feel pain. My shoulder was unbearable. I could feel various scrapes and bruises all over my body. Even my head felt like it was splitting open. I realized that falling into the fountain and protecting Julie most likely did cause my skull to literally split open. I'm not sure what happened but as we fell all I could think about was making sure Julie got away from those Boneys. In those few seconds I wondered if my body would break and I would finally get the permanent death I had wished for just as I found a reason to live. I wondered if I would just keep moving as I had all the other times I had been hurt while infected. I wondered if the changes I had started feeling ever since meeting Julie would continue if I died. I worried that I wouldn't be able to keep Julie safe from the effects of such a fall. I tried to wrap my body around her to create a cage of protection for her fragile body, but what if we landed the wrong way and she broke her leg. The boneys would surely get her then. I wanted Julie to live a long life. I wanted her to be happy.

As I slowly blinked the grogginess from my eyes, my fingers twitched and I felt a small, cool hand tighten around them. I looked to my right and there she was. Julies red rimmed eyes and tear-stained cheeks came into view and the watery smile she graced me with was enough to make all this pain worth it. While I knew the pain meant I was alive again, I realized I could still only manage the feeblest of smiles to return. It wasn't that my chest didn't tighten in response to her gaze, my muscles just couldn't function in the way required to show my emotions. I would have to re-learn these muscle-memory responses and work the stiffness out of my limbs.

"Hey there you" Julie said as her shoulders visibly relaxed. "I was getting worried."

"What… happ-end?" I asked.

"The medics removed the bullet and stitched you back up. You had quite a few fractured bones from the fall too. They stopped the bleeding and wrapped up the fractures then gave you some pain-killers, but they said you'll feel pretty groggy for a while after first waking."

"Still in… pain" I choked out my scratchy throat.

"Here," Julie offered me a glass of water and a pill. "It's one of the super drugs they came up with when this whole epidemic started. It should relieve the pain but you just have to be careful not to pull out the stitches. They said your bones were fusing back together surprisingly we'll have to be careful not to make them worse."

"Thank you" I said as she helps me sit up and take the pill. I realize how parched I was when the water relieves a fraction of the pain immediately.

"R," Julie sobbed as she cupped his face in her free hand. Her right hand still clenched tightly around his. "I was so worried."

I looked into her shining eyes and with the help of the super drug moving through my system, removed my hand from hers to slowly wrap around her shoulders. I pulled her into my embrace as she carefully laid her head on my uninjured shoulder. "It's ok. I'm going to be ok" I whisper into her ear as I kiss her hair.

"We both will" she says, pulling back to look at my face.

* * *

The next day I am ready to leave the medical center. The building has begun filling up with the newly exhumed coming in for medical attention. Julie tells me that the front gate has been opened up and search parties sent out to find those who were cured and needed help with wounds sustained during the battle with the boneys. I try looking for M and fear the worst when I don't see him. I begin to ask Julie in my dis-jointed speech but she answers before I finish.

"He came in earlier when you were still in surgery. Nora found him trying to ask one of the guards about you. She brought him in but he was pretty banged up and I think he's recovering now. We can find him later but right now they need us to clear room for new patients."

So we leave the medical center and as I squint into the harsh sunlight outside, Julie grabs my hand to stop me.

"Look at what you did R!" she exclaims gesturing to the exhumed populace that filled the area outside the med-center. They stared at us in the same way they did at the hospital and deep inside the stadium but with more light in their eyes than ever. "You're curing them somehow."

"We" I insist. "We're… curing them."

She pounces on me, wrapping herself around me and squeezing so hard I feel my semi-healed bones creaking. She kisses me and her warmth radiates into my body. I feel a rush of sensations as my own warmth pushes back.

Julie goes still. She releases me and pulls back a little, glancing downward. A wondering smile creeps across her face.

I look down at myself, but I don't need to. I can feel it. My hot blood is pounding through my body, flooding capillaries and lighting up cells like Fourth of July fireworks. I can feel the elation of every atom in my flesh, brimming with gratitude for the second chance they never expected to get. The chance to start over, to live right, to love right, to burn up in a fiery cloud and never again be buried in the mud. I kiss Julie to hide the fact that I'm blushing. My face is bright red and hot enough to melt steel.

* * *

As R and I walk through the streets inside the walled off refugee camp, I realize that he is now the closest thing this post-apocalyptic world has to a celebrity. The newly exhumed and survivors alike stare at us as if our story was already widely known. We hold hands as I steer him back towards my house not thinking twice about it. I don't want to let him out of my sight and with the way he took care of me while he was still infected, I felt it was my turn to care for him.

I was so confused with what was happening around us and for some reason it wasn't Nora or my Dad I wanted to be around. You would think they would provide me the most stability, I had grown up inside these walls with my Dad fighting those infected with the plague and Nora had been my closest friend for years now. But after everything that had happened these past few days, I just wanted to get R somewhere we could be alone.

While we were ensconced in that plane he called home, I had at first felt scared out of my mind. After realizing that he really wasn't going to kill me and eat my brains, I started to relax and have some of the most carefree moments of my teenage life. In the world of today, well of yesterday to be more specific as R had given us hope for a better tomorrow, 19 was not an age of carefree living. Kids couldn't just be kids. We all had responsibilities inside the walled off city of survivors. Once you were in your late teens you were expected to join the security detail, the construction crew, or scavenger parties. The younger kids were taught how to grow food, perform complex maintenance on houses and generators, and how to give standard medical attention.

Now with the corpses beginning to show signs of restored life, I wondered how life would change. Could we go back to how things were before this plague? Could we exhume the world and start restoring the cities and culture?

Part of me worried that it wouldn't be as easy with the other infected as it had been with R and his airport hive. It was as if R's determination to live had shown the others what they could become. I knew we had a dangerous path ahead of us and realized that R and I would have to go out into the dead zones to help exhume the rest of the infected.

All I wanted was to go back to the plane where I didn't have any responsibilities and R took care of all my needs. But again, it was I who needed to take care of him now. I could see he was struggling to hide the pain he was in and as his pace slowed I realized he was still tired. I wondered if he was hungry and if he would be able to keep any food down after not eating human food for who knows how long. I wished I knew how long he had been dead. How had he died? Did he have any family out there? As I concluded we probably wouldn't receive answers to these questions unless he began to recover the memories of his previous life, my hand tightened around his when another question hit me.

What if he had a girlfriend? Or a wife? Or even kids?

Although we hadn't spoken about what was between us, I had begun to assume we were together. I thought of him as a constant in a way I hadn't even thought of Perry as. Nora had joked about R being my 'zombie boyfriend' and I had laughed it off. But in reality she wasn't far off. I did have feelings for R even before his heart began to beat again. I had assumed he cared for me but what if it was just as little more than a friend.

I tried to control my emotions as he turned his head to look at me. He had saved my life. He took care of me and risked his un-life to keep me safe. I wasn't sure who had initiated the kiss in the fountain, but he had defiantly been an active participant. Plus if what she had felt against her stomach during the kiss outside the med-center, what he was feeling wasn't strictly friendly by any means.

"Julie?" R asked with a slight tilt of his head. Although is facial expression didn't change much except for the slight squint of his eyes, I knew he was asking me what was wrong. He had felt my grip tighten around his.

"It's nothing R. Just thinking about what's gonna happen now that you changed"

"Stay, together Julie" R stated. I felt his hand grip mine tighter in the same way I had when we faced down the boneys in the stadium and my dad outside.

I smiled. "Always" I said as we stopped at my door. I haven't heard R say more than a dozen syllables at most, but I find that what he does say is always special and with just those three words I felt myself relax. I shouldn't be worried about how he feels about me. I know that he cares about me and now that we've convinced my dad and the rest of the refugees that the cure is here, I don't have to hide R or my feelings for him.

I remember the last time R and I stood at this door. He had followed me inside the city walls to warn me about the boneys. He risked his life after I had just left him in those suburbs. It wasn't that I had run away from him but I didn't want my dad to find me and kill R permanently.

I lead R inside and helped him up the stairs and into my room. As I helped him lay on the bed, I could hear my father downstairs giving orders to a few of his generals and wanted to go see what the plan was. I also didn't want to leave R.

"Go" R rasped as he caught me glancing at the door and straining to hear the conversation. "I'll be, ok."

"I'll be right back R. I'll bring some soup and crackers up too if I can find them" I tell him as I back out of the room.

R closes his eyes and I see him take a deep breath, something that seems to fascinate me now. I walk down the stairs and into my father's office. He looks up and dismisses his generals with orders to get a few SUVs and supplies ready.

"I'll be leaving tonight Julie. We've decided to drive out to Clark County refugee camp and explain about the cure. We want to pull our resources and spread the word. Spread hope" my dad says to me as he starts to pack up some files and ammunition. He turns to look at me and smiles, "You did a brave thing today, standing up for R against me and the skeletons. I'm sorry I didn't see reason sooner. I'm sorry I shot him."

"I think he'll be ok. He's upstairs sleeping" I tell him.

"Well when I get back in a few days I look forward to meeting him. And we'll have to have a discussion about what's going to happen now" my father gives me a serious look and continues. "I don't know what caused this change, but we're seeing it in the others from R's airport hive. The skeletons aren't changing though. They keep attacking and I'm afraid they're just too gone."

"I think R and I will have to travel hive to hive to show them they could be more. You're probably right about the boneys. It might be too late for them to change back. I'll try talking to R tomorrow about what he thinks happened" I tell him giving him a hug and saying good-bye. I wish him a good trip and he tells me to take care of R. A few minutes later he's leaving the house on his way to Clark County. I grab some supplies and heat up a can of Campbell's soup I find in one of our rations boxes. As I make my way back into my room and place my load on my desk, I look at R. His eyes are open and he's staring at the quotes I have written on my ceiling.

"R, you're covered in dirt and grime," I say giggling. "Why don't I get a bath ready for you? It'll help sooth your muscles too. Here," I had him the soup and crackers I brought up, "Eat a little of this and I'll come get you when it's ready."

"Thank you, Julie" R says in a tired voice. The first time I've heard a clear inflection in his speech. I smile at him and walk into the bathroom as he begins to slurp the soup. I fill the tub with hot water and the last of the bubble bath I had saved from childhood. I was hoping to save it for a special occasion and couldn't think of a better time than now. As I got out a few towels, some rags and soap, I decided that I'd join R in the larger than average tub. While R was taller than the average male, He was also skinny as sin and couldn't see the dimensions of the tub becoming a problem. In fact, after thinking about it, I half wished the tub was smaller.

"Baths ready R," I say as I turn the corner into my room. He's sitting on the bed nibbling on a cracker with the soup only half finished beside him. "How are you feeling? Full?"

He shrugs.

"Come on," I sigh. "Let's get you washed up." He either doesn't realize my intentions to join him or he doesn't realize the significance of the gesture. I'm not nervous about him seeing me in my underwear as I know he was looking when I undressed in the suburbs, but I don't want to embarrass him or force him into an uncomfortable situation.

"Bubbles" R says with a slight smile looking at the tub.

"Yea, I was saving them ever since this whole plague thing started" I tell him as I shut the bathroom door and lead him closer to the tub. "With proof of the cure right here in front of me, I figured this would be a great occasion to use them."

* * *

"Uhhhhhh…" my speech seems to have fled me. As I hear Julie shut the bathroom door with her still in the room, I realize that there are an inordinate amount of towels sitting next to the tub for just one person. I realize she intends to join me in the warm fizz of the bubble bath. My mind returns to the kiss we shared outside the med-center and my body's reaction to her passion. I begin to blush again and turn towards Julie.

"Would you rather do this alone?" she asks me not quite meeting my eyes.

"No" I quickly tell her. "Stay together."

Julie smiles at me and stretches up to kiss the corner of my lips. "Let's get these bloody clothes off you."

My heart starts beating faster as her hands slide to the zipper on my hoodie. I pray that I'm able to control my body's reaction to her intimate movements. The zipper sounds like firecrackers to my ears. Loud and startling. Julie carefully pulls the hoodie from shoulders and looks at my face for signs of pain.

"We might have to cut the shirt off. I don't want you to pull the stiches out of your shoulder" Julie says. I can tell she's nervous but my brain can't put together the reasons why. She turns around and grabs a pair of clippers from the sink. As she begins gently cutting the fabric and peeling it away from my body, I can feel her breath on my chest. As amazing as it is now to have actual circulating blood flow, I curse the pounding of my heart as I'm sure she hears it. I feel the blood pumping through my veins and try to stop it but I just can't help redirect the flow from its' intended target. As my jeans get tighter I am surprised by the feel of her hands on my chest. She's tracing the scars that litter my frame and although it hurts I'm thankful when her hand slides over the bullet wound her father gave me. I know she didn't mean to hurt me so I try not to show how much it hurt. As the pain allows me to rein in my arousal she catches the slight grimace on my face.

"Sorry R. We'll have to clean that up a little more to avoid infection" Julie says pulling me by the hand closer to the tub. She kneels down and starts to work on my belt. The vision of her on her knees before me begins to stir my blood again. In a faster movement than I can ever remember having, I raise my hand and brush it over another wound to bring about a flash of pain. Again I'm able to push my passion down. I don't know why but I feel this isn't the right time to let Julie see that side of me. She pulls my jeans down, leaving my boxers on, and helps me to sit in the tub.

I'm not really sure what I should be doing in the the water so I look up at her. My heart pounds in my chest and I'm glad to finally be in the tub and under the cover of the pearly white soap bubbles. Julie already has her shirt off exposing her breasts covered by only a blue scrap of lace she calls a bra. She's working her jeans over her hips and exposing her pink panties covered in little red hearts. I realize I'm staring but can't seem to help it. My eyes are glued to her skin and when she bends over to remove her socks I can't help but rest a hand over the bulge she's inspired in my lap.

Julie gingerly steps into the tub, careful to avoid jostling the water or my outstretched legs too much. She sits on the opposite side of the tub facing me. Her legs are hooked over mine so that her calves are nestled on my thighs. I want to pull her closer and kiss her. I want to wrap her in my arms and hold her tight against my body.

"Ok R, let's get you clean again" Julie says as she dips a rag in the water and squirts some body wash on it. She begins gently rubbing the grim from my shoulders and arms, careful to avoid my injuries. She lets the water run over them to clear any loose dirt. She massages my arm muscles and as I start to relax I close my eyes. She gives my chest the same movement then my sides. Next she starts on my calves and moves up my thighs, sloshing the water around as she gets closer to me on her knees. I'm so relaxed it's with a jolt I realize she's getting closer to my lap and my reaction to her ministrations. I try to catch her wrists to stop her but I'm too slow. She brushes the rag over my hip bone and feels the tent my erection made of the boxers against her arm. She stops and stiffens for a moment before looking to my eyes with a surprised expression.

"I'm sorry" I say ineffectually. I don't know what I'm sorry about but I feel embarrassed.

"It's ok R" Julie smiles at me. "We're together yea?"

"Always" I say repeating her words from just an hour earlier. She sits back with her thighs now over mine and reaches up to place one hand gently over my heart and the wound her father had given me. She looks into my eyes as she feels its steady beating, and then pulls my head down to kiss my lips. As I begin to deepen the kiss her tongue slides into my mouth to explore. I place one hand on the back of her neck, tangled in her hair to keep her mouth on mine, and the other hand on her waist urging her closer.

She drops the rag into the water with a slight splash and runs her hand down my stomach and into my boxers to grip my shaft in her fist. As she slowly begins to move my speech seems to revert back to when I was infected. I can get out little more than grunts and moans in response to the pleasure I feel. Julie doesn't seem to care as she kisses down my neck then up to nibble on my earlobe. Her breath is hot in my ear and my mouth forms an 'o' as her hands cup my balls.

"Julie" I gasp as my hand falls from her hair to find her breast. With the hand not busy pleasuring me, she covers my hand and begins to knead her breast with my hand. In a flash she un-hooks her bra and lets it slide into the tub. I open my eyes to look down at her heaving chest and moan as a feel a tightening in my ball sack. Her breasts dip in and out of the water as her hand slides up and down. I place both hands on her breasts and slide my thumbs over her pebbled nipples. She moans and the sound goes straight to my dick. With a grunt my body relaxes and I soften in Julies' hand.

She kisses me one last time then reaches out of the tub for a towel. She stands up and wraps it around herself before grabbing one for me. I wrap it around myself and let my soaking boxers fall from beneath. "Come on," she smirks, "let's go to bed."

I smile and stand up to follow her. She grabs my hand and leads me to sit on her bed before looking around the room.

"I just realized I don't have any clothes that will fit you. I'll have to ask Nora to bring some stuff from the thrift place tomorrow" Julie says blushing a little. I don't know how she can blush after what we just did but it causes a faint pinkening of my cheeks as well. I reach out for her and when she places her hand in mine I pull her down onto the bed with me, removing her towel and mine in the process.

Our naked bodies are pressed together in her small twin bed and as I pull the quilt over us I kiss her forehead.

"Stay together" I whisper in her ear as she snuggles closer. She smiles up at me as she wraps an arm around my side and rests her head on my uninjured shoulder. I realize the pain has all but left my body and am thankful when I finally get what I've been longing for since watching her sleep on the floor of the plane. Julie falling asleep in my arms.


	2. Chapter 2

I wake up before R and take a moment to admire him. His chest is slowly rising and falling with each breath and his face is tinged pink with the flow of blood in his veins. I can't wrap my head around how beautiful he is. His dark shaggy hair falls over his closed eyes and I imagine the startling blue irises hidden behind his long eyelashes. My leg is thrown over his hip as we lay on our sides facing each other and his arms are wrapped around my body holding my close. As he shifts in his sleep I can feel his erection against me. Before I could even begin to feel the heat gather in my own pelvis, R's body jerked and he awoke startled.

"Hey," I soothe, "it's ok, I'm here. Bad dream?"

R looks at me with groggy eyes and I feel him start to pull back. I try to reach out to him but he stumbles from the bed and hastily replies "Bathroom" before heading out my door. The only consolation I receive from this behavior is the view of his sculpted backside as he exits for the hallway. I lay back on my bed and wonder how long I can hold out before I can't take it anymore and jump him.

I decide to get dressed and ready to find Nora, thinking that R has just realized what a living digestive system means for his bladder. I decide to raid my dad's military uniforms for something clean R can wear while Nora looks for some clothes better suited for him. I put what I find on the bed then walk down the hall towards the bathroom. I'm thankful R remembered the wonders of indoor plumbing before he made a mess of himself and wonder what else he might remember.

"R, I left some clothes for you on the bed! I'm going to go downstairs and make something for breakfast real quick then we can go find Nora and M!" I yell through the door. After receiving a grunt in response I shrug and head downstairs. A few minutes later R comes down clad in his old converse, a pair of loose fitting fatigues, and a green tee-shirt. I stare at him for a few minutes and decide that although I prefer him in his slacker outfit, the arm attire is somewhat sexy on him.

"Julie?" he says in response to my staring.

"Oh, I made some toast for you. Are you hungry?" I say as I avert my eyes. I've really got to learn to stop staring at him. "There's some milk there too. Should help with the bones. Any pain today?"

He shrugs so I glare at him. "No" he says realizing I want him to use words.

"That's good" I say as I pull out a chair for him. "Sit down and eat, we'll go find Nora and ask her to bring you clothes then look for M at the med center."

We finish breakfast in the relative silence not uncommon between us. It's somehow comfortable and while I wish R could speak more and begin to remember some of his past life, I know that he'll need some adjustment time. I flash him a smile and feel it fade as he looks away from me. I begin to ask him what's wrong when the front door crashes open and I hear Nora start to yell.

"Come on guys! Wakey wakey! I don't want to interrupt anything but I will if I have to!" she yells as she enters the house.

"We're in the kitchen!" I call out to her, momentarily distracted from R's behavior.

"Oh damn! I was kinda hoping to catch a peek at our living breathing, ex-zombie here" Nora says as she walks into the kitchen. "Are you sure you don't want to share Julie?"

R's face turns bright red as he turns back towards me with wide eyes. "No," I say, "he's all mine!"

I see his lips turn up slightly until he looks away again. I smile thinking he's just embarrassed.

"Well I brought some new clothes for him, but hot damn those fatigues are a wet-dream!" she exclaims.

"Nora!" I yell slightly jealous.

"What?! I'm just sayin'" she defends as she hands him the clothes. "Here R, you'll be more comfortable in these."

R got up and shuffled to the stairs carrying the clothes with him.

"So I guess he's the strong and silent type huh?" Nora asked me as she sat in the seat R had just vacated.

"Yeah," I replied. "I'm hoping he'll get more talkative as he gets used to living again."

"Well I figured you'd want to get him some new clothes today so I went over to the supply store earlier. I just got him some of the same things he was wearing before and tried to size them the best I could" Nora says, stealing a piece of toast from R's pile.

"Thanks Nora, we were gonna come find you right after breakfast to do just that. If they don't fit well enough we can always go again" I say.

"He's looking a lot better than he did at the hospital. Where's General G? I'm sure he had a blast with an ex-zombie in the house" she says dryly.

"He went over to Clark County last night to spread the word about the cure" I say as nonchalantly as I can.

"So you and R were alone all night?" she asks with a smirk.

I roll my eyes and say "Nothing happened."

"Oh come on Julie! You expect me to believe that? He's hotter than when he had that make-up on!"

"Nora! He was just shot in the shoulder yesterday!" I exclaim. "I don't think one day is enough of a recovery time, even with the super drugs."

"Well you better hit that before I do!" Nora says sitting back in her chair.

"Don't worry," I confide. "I plan on doing just that as soon as possible."

* * *

R walks back down the stairs and into the kitchen as the girls erupt in laughter. He's transfixed by Julie's tinkling giggles and the carefree smile on her face. She looks towards him and while her giggles die down, the smile grows.

"R! You look great!" she says. I want to smile at her and tell her how beautiful she is to me but I remember the dream I had just before waking this morning. I don't want to tell her about it and ruin her happiness, but I can't get the images out of my head of all the people I killed while infected.

I dreamt of our hunting parties and how each person I murdered had screamed and begged me to stop. At first my nightmare was mostly memories of my time being dead, then it changed and I was back in the lab with Julie and Perry. This time after eating Perry's brains I didn't protect Julie. I crawled over to her and bit down on the soft skin of her throat. I ripped the skin and tendons until she no longer fought back. I took her life and lived her memories by eating her brain. I didn't become the cure and I didn't keep her safe.

When I awoke I could feel Julie wrapped in my arms and around me. I realized how little I deserved to be with her after all those people I killed. I don't remember how many or for how long I was dead but even if I had just killed Perry, I don't deserve to be with her. I don't deserve her love.

So I ran to the bathroom to hide my shame. I know that I want to be with her, and I know she wants to be with me. But I'm a killer. I've killed people. Her people. Her boyfriend.

"Go see M?" I ask, ignoring her compliment.

"Yea," she says as her smile is slightly diminished. "Just let me get ready really quick."

As she heads upstairs I take her seat and turn to Nora.

"What's wrong R?" she asks me with a frown and confused look.

"Bad dreams" I say simply looking down at the table, "of the, people, I've killed."

"Oh R," she sighs. "I didn't even think about that. I guess it's a side effect of humanity, morality."

I shrug not knowing what I want to say. Before my change I had all kinds of thoughts running through my head. Things I wished I could share with people. Now I just feel kind of numb.

"It was a biological imperative, like sex. Humans can't stop having sex and corpses couldn't stop eating brains. At least you got better at controlling your impulses," Nora says placing a hand on my arm and smiling. "Although for Julies' sake I hope the human urges come back soon."

I give her the best confused look I could imagine and she just laughs at me.

"Julie doesn't blame you at all, and neither do I" Nora says quietly. "We killed a lot of your kind and now we found out we could have been curing them. Both sides of the plague did what we did for survival."

I feel slightly better at Nora's explanation but I still feel like the livings' side of the argument was slightly more just. The undead attacked the living to survive but the living never attacked us first. They just tried to survive.

"R, just tell Julie about your dream. Let her decide if she wants to be with you or not" Nora says sitting back again. "She knows you killed Perry and still wants to be with you."

I think about everything Julie did after I told her about killing Perry. She never even yelled at me about it and if what we did in the tub was any indication, she still wanted to be with me. I smile at Nora as I hear Julie running down the stairs.

"Come on Romeo, let's go see M" Nora says standing up. Suddenly Nora gasps and turns to stare at me, her mouth hanging open.

"What is it?" Julie asks looking from Nora to me. I back up slightly from Nora's intense gaze.

"Romeo and Juliet!" Nora suddenly cries. "You guys are Romeo and Juliet!"

Julie laughs and pushes past Nora to take my hand, "I highly doubt R's name is Romeo. Who names their kids that in this day and age?"

"So what if his parents didn't name him Romeo, he can name himself now" Nora states turning to walk out the front door.

"Just call me R" I whisper to Julie, squeezing her hand gently.

"Don't you want to remember your real name?" she asks looking to my eyes questioningly.

"No, I just want to remember… here and now" I say smiling at her. I decide she's what's most important to me and I'll continue to prove myself to her until she sends me away. Her answering smile dazzles me and I lean down to kiss her softly, "with you."

* * *

"Hey, lover boy" M says as I walk into his hospital room. I blush as Julie giggles and squeezes my hand. She hasn't let go since breakfast and I find myself thinking less and less about my nightmare and more about the problems still ahead. I believe that these changes in me occurred because of her. I don't know if I believed in love at first sight or soul mates in my previous life but I know that when I first glimpsed Julie I wanted to connect with her. My initial plan may not have gone very much further than getting her back to my airplane hideout and keeping her there, but when she confessed her desire to return home I realized I wanted her to be happy, not just existing with me.

Her initial escape from the plane terrified me and before I could get too emo about it I was already trying to find her, instinctually knowing she'd get herself into trouble. After that it was just a mad dash to keep her away from the boneys. When we hopped in the car and got away I had begun to relax until I realized we were still headed for the refugee city. I worried that she was still going to leave me and return to her normal life. It was then that I realized I had gone longer than ever without feeding, besides a few bites of her boyfriends' brain, and I had yet to feel the pains of hunger. I knew I was changing but couldn't find a way to express this development to Julie. Her decision to hideout in the abandoned suburbs was a relief to me, already envisioning a life together separate from the living and the undead.

Waking up to find Julie gone almost broke me and I imagined I could feel my heart solidifying into the stone hard organ it becomes upon infection. Had I not met M and the other exhumed along the way back to the airport, I fear I may never have gotten to where I am now. Knowing that others were changing gave me hope that if I could just show Julie that maybe she would help me.

I know that Julie and I together is the key to the cure, and that's why I'm standing in M's room now. I need to know what he saw when Julie and I left the hospital. What made him start to change? Was it just seeing that it was possible? Or was it in some way like the plague that brought us here at the start?

"Hi M" I say awkwardly.

"R was worried about you," Julie teases me as she pulls me further into the room.

"I'm a-okay" he says sitting up on his cot, "and my name… is Marcus"

"Marcus" I say with a nod. "How did you guys, start changing?"

"I don't know, dude" Marcus has gotten better with his speech patterns. "After you left, we began really looking… at what was around us. The photos of the living. Our hearts, gave a beat. Then we had clarity."

"Maybe we can put more pictures up at the airport and see what happens?" Nora says from a chair she had sat in. "We gotta figure out how to spread the cure somehow."

"We'll go tomorrow" Julie says. "If it starts to work, when my dad gets back we can tell him the plan."

"Maybe just, Marcus and I," I suggest not wanting Julie to go back to the airport in case the boneys were still around.

"No R, like you said, 'together'" Julie insists. "You're not going without me."

I look at her and realize that she's determined to go with me. I want her to stay here inside the safety of the walls but I know that she's a strong woman who can take care of herself. If I try to go without her, she'd only follow me anyway.

"It's both of you, who made the change" Marcus insists. "It was seeing her hold your hand… and seeing what life, could be like."

I pause and realize that until we spread the cure, Julie and I will have to travel around the world. I could never leave her for that long. It wasn't as if we could fly a plane or take a train. We would have to rely on boats and cars. We would have to exhume the airport and try to find people who could help us. I could just imagine a caravan of humans and the exhumed traveling across the country trying to reconstruct our world.

"Ok, you're right," I relent. "Let's get a group together, and get supplies."

"I'll come with you" M says. "Keep Julie safe."


	3. Chapter 2,5

**A/N: Hey guys, thanks for all the reviews and favorites! This is my first time writing fiction, let alone a fan fiction. Also I've been getting a lot of comments about spacing between perspectives… I had put asterisk in while writing the story in Word but unfortunately being new to posting here, I didn't realize they weren't being uploaded to the site. So sorry about that, I should have checked that before uploading. I've gone back to fix it though. **

**I also just want to let everyone know my updates will most likely be Thursdays or Fridays, but since I've gotten so many wonderful responses I'll try to upload short chapters throughout the week when I have time. I'm not sure how long I'm looking to make this story, I'm mostly just writing as it comes to me. Again thanks for all the wonderful responses I've gotten!**

After getting Marcus released from the hospital the four of us began planning. Julie wanted to wait till her father was back from Clark County to get his advice and the ok to pack up the necessary supplies. Nora also suggested training Marcus and I so that we would both be limber and strong enough to fight if we needed. We all knew we the chances of running into some boneys were pretty high. For a while we just sat around Julie's table making lists and looking at maps. Julies' father had a large stash of maps in his office that detailed almost the whole state. They even had thick red circles in the areas known to have large hives of corpses.

Marcus and I were fascinated by the circle around the airport we had called home. It was the largest circle in the immediate area of the city, but about 80 miles south, there was an even larger hive denoted.

"Well we should start at the airport to see if there are anymore corpses we can exhume" Nora states. "Also we can probably get more soldiers to go with us, since it's hardly a day's trip, then we can try to get all the boneys that are still living there."

"Good Idea" Julie says before looking at me. "R, do you think there's anything you might want to get from the plane?

"Maybe the records" I say.

Julie smiles. "Yeah, I'd like that."

I love making her smile. I wish I knew how to make her smile more. As I began to stop paying attention to the conversation around me, I stared at Julie and thought about the coming few days. She said her father would be back in three or four days and we planned to go to the airport after that. Not only were we planning on eradicating the boneys but posting photos to begin the exhumation process in corpses still unliving there. Nora said that there was a photo supply store about 3 miles beyond the walls and that we could take a few soldiers with us to gather some film before sunset.

I decided I wanted to get some film for just Julie and I. I wanted to make sure that Julie knew I was keeping the memories I had of her the most vivid in my mind. Just like she said in the suburban house we had stayed in. I realized that Julie and I wouldn't have a lot of time alone together once we started this mission and I would need to make the most of the next few days.

I thought about asking Nora what I could do for Julie but then I thought about her comment this morning about 'human urges'. I felt a delayed embarrassment once I realized what she meant, but it also made me decide to ask Marcus if he had any tips he could give me. I still haven't remembered anything of my previous life as the other exhumed have, in flashes and dreams, but I knew I wanted to please Julie. And I felt bad about last night in the bathroom. I hadn't even thought to reciprocate; I just groped her and fell asleep like a lump of lard.

I felt so ashamed of myself. Julie is the most important thing in my life and I would do anything for her. Keeping her safe during the attack at the lab and at the airport afterwards was in part a response to the feeling she inspired in me. I didn't know what that feeling was until she left me in the suburbs. My heart beats for her. I could write hundreds of fluffy romantic poems for her, and maybe I could try that later, once I learned to write again. But for right now, I needed to make sure I was prepared to respond to any advances she might make, and think of a way to show her how important she is to me and how committed I am to changing for her. For right now, I have the beginnings of an idea but I needed to talk to Marcus before we left for the film store.

**More on Thursday!**


	4. Chapter 3

A few hours later we had gathered a few spare soldiers and made the trek outside the wall. We encountered a few boneys that the soldiers quickly shot down. They seemed to be stragglers and I was glad we hadn't come across any groups of them like the ones that had chased us through the stadium. I had tried talking to Marcus before we left but it was hard to get him alone let alone figure out what I wanted to say. I didn't want him to make a big deal of my questions and he didn't seem like the type of guy to be romantic with his girl.

I hadn't regained any memories of my past life but I knew the basics. It wasn't like I had to relearn how to use the bathroom or use utensils; I just couldn't read very well and my body was stiff from disuse. I decided to just tell Marcus I was planning something special for Julie and needed his help to gather some supplies. I had hoped that by not making a big deal of it myself, Marcus wouldn't get too excited and blow everything.

The area the film store was in also had a lot of other stores around. Once we felt secure enough that more boneys weren't going to show up, everyone had the same idea I had about stopping at other stores. As we split off into groups, one of the soldiers made sure to tell everyone to stay on the same block. I saw Julie begin to turn towards me, presumably to grab my hand and cart me off to some store she knew, but with a stroke of luck, Nora intercepted her and pulled her off in the opposite direction. I breathed a sigh of relief and turned to Marcus.

"There are a few things, I wanted to get" I say. "Come on."

"Like what?" Marcus asked.

"I want to plan something special, for Julie."

"ohh, Loverboy wants to plan… a romantic evening?" Marcus teased.

"I like her" I simplify.

"Yeah," Marcus smiles, "we all know."

We continued along the block looking in storefronts to see what type of supplies they might have. Eventually we found a drugstore and went inside. Our first thought was to look for any stray corpses or boneys; thankfully we found none, then we began sifting through the abandoned products.

There wasn't much in the way of supplies we could use on our travels, most of the useful things were taken during the previous scavenges done by the living. Any food that was left here was spoiled and there wasn't even a box of Advil left. After walking down a few aisles the condom section caught my eye. Now that I was living I would probably need them right? Did my reproductive system begin working again? Or did my recently dead status cause me to be sterile? I ended up picking up a pack and nervously sliding it into my hoodie pocket.

Marcus and I kept looking in a few stores and just as I saw Julie and Nora exit a building down the block, Marcus pulled me into a small shop. I couldn't tell what kind of store it was since the windows were blacked out but as soon as Marcus turned on his flashlight I froze. He had found a porn store.

Magazines, videos, and various toys were strewn across the floor. He greedily picked up a magazine and started leafing through the pictures. I was shocked he had found this place but I realized it was exactly what I needed. I picked up a magazine and started looking through, albeit less zealously than Marcus.

"God I miss… the times, before this plague" Marcus comments, "I've been, remembering some times before. Like my teens. I was wild!"

"I still don't remember" I say.

"You have to really think about it. I had a lot of… free time, when I woke up in the hospital. You were, probably dis-tracted, by Juuuulllliiieee" he teases.

I smile and try to think. I remember waking up as a zombie. I was in the airport. Just kind of sprawled out on some chairs by the gate of my plane. Maybe I was on a trip somewhere. Maybe I had a ticket for that plane. I remember there was a small bag near me when I awoke but I didn't take it. I decided to tell Julie and look for that bag when we went back to the plane.

Marcus and I continued looking at the magazines and it actually did help with my 'muscle-memory' as I've taken to calling it. It seems my brain had some information stored and as I looked at the photos, things started looking a little familiar.

After awhile I began to get nervous that Julie and Nora would come in and find us. I got Marcus to leave and thankfully no one was out on the street. We walked to the other end of the block and saw a few of the soldiers standing at the doorway to a store. Julie and Nora exited just as we made it to the group. We decided we were done and started heading back to the refugee city. We took a few pictures of kids playing outside. Some couples and some of the newly exhumed. We collected the pictures in a canvas bag as they shot out of the camera.

On the way back to Julies' house we stopped at the thrift store, which was really more of a tent people went to for any discarded clothes they needed. Julie helped me find some more clothes that would fit me so I wouldn't be stuck wearing the same outfit Nora had brought me today. Once we returned to Julies' she began emptying a drawer and putting my new clothing in. Somewhere in the back of my mind this action struck me as being somewhat of a big deal. I wasn't sure why but I began to smile. Not even my stiff half smile, a real cheek splitting smile. I sat on her bed and watched her carve out a space in her life for me and felt happy. I realized even if I never remembered my past life, as long as I had Julie now, I wouldn't care. I still wanted to know, more just to solve a mystery than to achieve a feeling of completion.

I stood up and walked over to Julie at her dresser. She was facing away from me so I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her against me. Julie turned her head so that she was nuzzling my neck and I kissed her forehead.

"R, I wish we were still on the plane" Julie whispered.

"Why?"

"I just wish we didn't have so much to do. I feel like once my dad gets back and we start our 'exhumation tour' we're never going to just have time to be alone. The plane was the first time in forever I had an honestly carefree moment."

"Alone now" I say squeezing her slightly.

"We are, aren't we?" she says as she turns in my embrace to wrap her arms around my neck. "However will we entertain ourselves?"

I smile before kissing her.

* * *

As R kisses me I see a flash and hear a whirring sound to my left. For about a second I'm a preteen again thinking his kiss has made me see fireworks. Then I realize the sound was the antique camera I had left on my dresser. I pull away and see the photo that had popped out. It's still dark and hasn't developed yet but as I stare I see the outline of R and I entwined.

I smile up at R and say "You cheeseball."

He blushes, which I admit is one of the cutest things I've ever witnessed, and says "Make memories."

"You know, for a zombie you say the most perfectly cheeseball things" I giggle. He really is the sweetest guy I've ever known. Perry loved me but was never comfortable showing it.

"My heart beats for you" he says smirking at me while placing his left hand on his heart.

I start laughing outright and grab the camera from him. I take a picture of him before pushing him back onto the bed and snapping another. R pulls me down onto the bed with him and I take one of the both of us before he snatches the camera back. I laugh as he starts making faces at me to snap pictures of my wide smile. We fight over the camera for a while until we end up lying on the bed face to face out of breath. R snaps one more picture before putting the camera on the bed and kissing me.

We lose ourselves in this kiss and as R lets his hands roam over my body I feel a heat begin to pool in my stomach. My fingers dig into his shoulder as I try to pull him closer. His fingers slip under my shirt and he rubs small circles over my sides, sliding my top further and further up. Eventually I throw my leg over his waist and pull him into a sitting position. I pull my top off and unzip his hoodie. He shrugs it off and I begin on his shirt. As soon as it's off he pulls me into a deep kiss. I fumble with the button on his jeans then jump up to get my jeans off.

"Your pants" I say, "get them off."

He quickly complies and I tackle him back onto the bed. I kiss him until he's gasping for air and move down his jaw to his neck. I suck hard enough to leave a bruise and begin running my heads over his shoulders and down his stomach. We both still have our underwear on and I feel him start to fumble with the clasp on my bra. Just when I'm about to help him he gets it and I throw the fabric off.

I think he must've been a breast man because his skill must've been ingrained from his previous life. As I feel my panties begin to dampen I start grinding my pelvis to his. I can feel that he's hard already and I wonder if this need for each other will ever fade. I hope it doesn't.

A moan escapes his throat and he seems to recover his senses. He flips us so that he's pressing me into the bed and the weight feels heavenly. He continues to rub himself onto me as he kisses my neck and chest. His hand slides down my sides and his thumbs hook onto my panties. As he pulls them off his mouth captures one of my nipples. His tongue circles the rosy bud while his hand trails back up my inner thigh. My hand finds his hair and I force him to take my breast into his mouth. I begin to moan and his fingers rub the sensitive flesh between my thighs. He slips one digit inside and my body arches off the bed.

It's been so long that anyone's touched me and I've wanted R so badly over the past week. I'm moaning his name and encouraging him to move faster, and harder, and deeper. I feel myself getting closer and I stop him, "I want to come together" I say.

R smiles at me and positions himself.

* * *

"Ready?" I ask Julie. She looks so perfect lying under me with a slight sheen of sweat on her naked body. I thought I would be much more nervous when this time came but I find that with Julie I always feel comfortable.

"Yea" she says looking into my eyes. I rub the tip of my cock in her juices and slowly thrust inside. The feeling of intimacy between us is amazing. Her heat feels like it is scorching me and as she encourages me to thrust faster and harder, I realize this moment probably won't last long. I feel my balls begin to tighten and try thinking of unsexy thoughts but the look on Julie's face is too much. Her eyes are tightly closed and her mouth is open allowing quick gasps and moans to be released. As I lean on my forearm to keep my full weight off her, my other hand slips between us to begin circling around her clitoris.

Her eyes snap open and after a few minutes she wraps her legs around my waist and pulls me closer to her. She grinds herself against me and I feel her muscles squeeze around my dick. I spill myself inside her with one final thrust. I look into her eyes and kiss her as I roll us over so that we are on our sides facing each other once again. Our limbs are tangled as we smile and whisper to one another and fall asleep.


	5. Chapter 4

**A/N: So I'm out of inspiration for this story. This will probably be the last chapter. Sorry for such a long wait, but I was applying for graduate schools and that little annoyance of reality got in the way. **

I wake up the next day wrapped in R's embrace and smile knowing that everything is going to be OK. Finally we have a plan other than hiding in the fortified stadium. Finally we can go out and start changing the world. This 'exhumation tour' is going to be daunting but I've always wished I could travel more, and now I get to do it with R. I know it's not going to be like it was before the virus began, but I hope that the post-post-apocalyptic world will be better for it.

As I snuggle deeper into R's arms, I feel a jab in my right butt cheek. I begin to giggle as I realize that R's morning wood is pretty insistent. Trying not to wake him, I turn over and begin stealthily making my way beneath the sheets. Along the way I press a kiss to his shoulder that gathers no response from the sleeping boy next to me. Next I place an open mouthed kiss on his pectoral that does nothing but make him turn onto his back. I lightly run my fingertips down his side and lick a trail down his abs and am rewarded with a low-hmm of satisfaction. Being careful not to jostle R, I straddle one of his legs and begin to lightly trace my fingers along his length. When I'm satisfied that he won't wake, I place a wet kiss to the tip of his erection and a quick flick of my tongue to its underside. I hear a louder moan this time and notice a slight bucking motion as his legs spread slightly wider.

Still trying not to wake him, I place a series of light kisses and lips to his balls and encircle his shaft in my hand. Lightly I begin to stroke him and see how far I can take this without waking him. I begin to lick him like an oversized lollipop and I hear him exhale my name. I smile and take him into my mouth. As my lips descend his length, I hear R gasp and know he's awoken.

"Julie?" he breaths. I look up at him with my lips still firmly closed around him give him a wink I hope looks devilish.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I wake up to the most delicious sight I've ever imagined. Julie is straddling one of my legs while going to town on my erection. Her lips are firmly closed around me and I can feel her tongue along the underside of my cock with the tip reaching for its' base. She winks at me and I feel my cock twitch in her mouth.

"Oh God" I choke out. She begins a steady up and down motion on me and I find my hands slipping into her hair to feel the steady rise and fall of her head. As her tongue flicks at the head of my penis I feel my balls tighten, and as her mouth envelops me again, I hold her head still and begin thrusting into her. Her mouth is so warm and wet and just as I let out a long moan, I feel her throat swallowing around me. I come instantly into her mouth and let her head go as I relax back into the bed.

"Good morning" she says as she crawls back up the bed to cuddle into my side.

I wrap my arms around her as I kiss her forehead, "Is it ever."

Julie giggles and I pull her closer. I kiss her lips and nip at her bottom lip as I lightly trail a hand down her side and over her him. I squeeze her bum and pull her leg over my hip. She gasps as my fingers find her center and I give her a leering smile when I find how wet she is. As I take a few minutes to recover I begin sucking at her neck and shoulder while my fingers begin to explore her pussy. She's already soaking so I plunge two fingers inside of her and begin a fast pace. My mouth moves down to her breasts and I suck on one pink nipple before moving to the next.

Julie is moaning my name and gasping for breath so as soon as I'm able I flip her onto her back and drive myself inside her. She gasps again and I set up a fast pace, knowing that neither of us will last long. One of my long fingers finds her clitoris and begins stroking.

In a manner of minutes she's gripping my arms and her muscles are squeezing my cock dry inside her. As I feel the last spurt of release I remember the condoms I had pilfered the day before.

"Oh shit" I say as I pull out and see my white cum ooze out of her pink flesh. It's truly a beautiful sight but the repercussion could be disastrous. "Julie, we uh… we forgot to use, a condom."

Julie laughs at me and I begin to wonder about her sanity. I thought she would be just as scared as I was or even furious at me for forgetting. "It's ok silly, I'm on birth control. I did have a serious boyfriend before you."

I'm relieved and relax a little while still holding onto her thighs.

"Come here," she says, holding her arms open for me to slide into. "Are you ready for today?"

I know she's talking about the mission we've decided to go on.

"Yes" I say.

"It's going to be hard, and we really haven't done any training for it."

"We can do anything," I say looking into her eyes. "As long as we stay together."

Julies eyes are shining as she smile back. "Forever" she says, deciding against calling me a cheeseball again.

"I love you" I tell her.

Julie smiles even wider and I see a tear trace it's way down her cheek. "I love you too" she says as she kisses me again.


End file.
